Aging Parents in Kansas City, Sandwich Generation

Baby-boomers are being pulled in many different directions.  They are called the sandwich generation for a few reasons:

1. Their parents may need care.
2. They may still have children that they are supporting
3. They want to retire... but how, and when may still be up in the air.

You probably don't need much help caring for your children at this stage... but eldercare may be a foreign concept.  In many ways you are switching roles with your parents, and taking on many aspects of parenting toward them.  It is not always an easy transition... your parents whom you've loved and respected and learned from may now be vulnerable and need some very personal care.  So, where do you start to make this transition as seamless as possible?

A conversation, a very frank and honest converstaion.  Here are some tips and talking points:

• Discuss honestly your feelings about the role reversal, and listen to your parents thoughts and feelings... this isn't easy for them either.
• Discuss that there may come a time where you need to make decisions for them, and because of this, you want to know their desires... "How do you see your golden years?  Where do you see yourself living?"
• Make sure that your parents have a living will so that their wishes can be carried out as they near death.  Remember, many hospitals will not allow you to make decisions for your parents without this important documentation.  You may also discuss becoming a Power of Attorney for your parents.
• Also, discuss funeral wishes with your parents.  It is important to get it all out on the table.
• Start a file, in it keep important documents, notes from your discussions with your parents, and more importantly: a list of medications that your parents are currently taking, name and phone numbers for their physicians, and a copy of their insurance.  This is especially important for an unexpected trip to the hospital. 
• Some seniors struggle with remembering to pay bills on time, problem solve this proactively.  Set up a system to help ensure timely payment of important bill.
• If your parents are comfortable, begin going to doctor's appointments with them.  As a benefit to your parents, it helps to have an extra set of eyes and ears in the room, and you can offer to take notes for them. 
• Also, if you are concerned about their ability to drive, it should be mentioned to their doctor.  Or, to your local DMV.
• Make sure your parents also have a written and witnessed will.
• Remember, that you love your parents, and tell them so.  Sometimes it is as difficult to be the one being cared for as the one giving the care.

Most importantly, just keep an open line of communication, and above all... keep the discussion honest, loving, and respectful.

For more information about how to start this conversation visit: http://babyboomerlifeboat.com/ or our resource page, http://americancompanioncare.com/resources

Remember... you don't have to do it alone!  ACC is here to help.  For a free in-home evaluation visit: http://americancompanioncare.com/contact-us/

Image courtesy of http://jodynoland.com